Evelyn Rose is a sophomore and a reporter for the Fishers Tiger Times. Her views do not necessarily reflect those of the newspaper.
For the longest time, I believed the worst film I had ever seen was “Birdemic: Shock and Terror,” a notoriously bad film that film students study to learn how not to make a film. However, the “Minecraft” film gave “Birdemic” a run for its money. Sitting through the “Minecraft” movie should be considered a feat.
If there was ever a film that you could argue that Warner Bros generated the script from AI, it would be this one because it was incredibly bland. Every thirty seconds, I was rolling my eyes at how nonsensical the plot was, things were happening constantly without rhyme or reason.
The “Minecraft” movie was so unentertaining that the people I was sitting next to felt perfectly fine checking their phone and talking during the film because what was playing on the screen felt like to me a 10-year-old saying, “watch this.” Who then proceeds to fail at whatever trick they were trying to show you.
Though, I do have to give props to actress Jennifer Coolidge for making me laugh the most, which was only three times in an almost two-hour runtime. Jack Black and Jason Momoa were relying on mostly slapstick humor for most of this film, which made it an unbearable experience.
The only other really positive thing I can say about this film was that the CGI was good when there were no humans on screen. However, I would have just preferred that the film was animated from the get-go. It is a shame that anyone involved thought about a live action “Minecraft” film because it did the original game zero justice.
The film even fails as a kid’s movie because they deserve something much more intelligent, something that does not force feed jokes to the audience constantly and allows them to think for themselves such as Guillermo Del Toro’s “Pinocchio.” The iconic “flint and steel” line is an example of the bad writing because instead of allowing the audience to recognize the item from the game, the film shouts at the screen the name of the item.
If audience members keep paying to watch this type of film, complaining that we do not have anything good to watch anymore, then cinema is officially a lost cause.
This movie does not deserve a full star, because I would have preferred seeing paint dry. If someone told me they wanted to watch this film, I would tell them to stay as far away from it as possible. I would urge them to just stay home and watch anything else that has come out recently.
